There is no me without Uncommon Man Network.

September 12, 2019
September 12, 2019 FamilyLife

Writing about my Uncommon Man Network is usually difficult for me, it’s like asking me to write about the goodness of God in my life. I always don’t know what to write but as I opened my book to write, my entire childhood which I have forgotten all this years flash through my eyes and I can’t but tears.

 

As a young man born in Port-Harcourt, Rivers and have spent the first 19years of his life in the slum and struggle of Port-Harcourt with a promising future in the first 5-6years of my life.  I was like that child every parent want their children to be like, I still remember how my friends parent would call me to come teach their children Maths and English, and how I use to cane them (as instructed by their parent o) for their lack of understanding. I was my teacher’s favourite student. I remember how my teacher would fight my parent for not telling her I was sick and how she would leave school to come be with me in the hospital I was admitted. But something happened along the journey which affected badly and made me lost touch with my essence. At age 6-7 our cousin from the village moved in with my benevolent parent, this cousin of ours without the knowledge of our parent started abusing my younger sister and I, as I write this I could see the freshness of this incident. This she continued for years until she later left for the village, but the damage was already done. Meanwhile she wasn’t the only person that sexually abused me as a child, I was also abused by a male in our neighborhood, he often get me drunk by giving me a liquid substance before sleeping with me. My life became a total mess and I didn’t know it. I couldn’t tell anyone all of this and I never knew why I didn’t till this moment.

 

The brilliant and good Owunari started has become addicted to sex at age 9 and before age 12 I have become a porn artist. I remember how we will do threesome and sometimes 6 at the age. I remember how I almost abused my own niece more than 5 times but never succeeded and I never knew why I didn’t succeed. At age 12 I hated school with a passion. I remember how I will leave home for school but never attended get to school for a full term. The only time I was in school in that term was the day we were writing our Maths subject, all I did in that exam was to copy back the question to the examiner. This was in my SSS 1. Nobody was aware of my struggle, challenges nor how bad I have become because I became this gentle, quiet but don’t take rubbish kind of boy. I don’t always start a fight or go looking for trouble but I used to be this guy that you can’t mess with me and be forgiveness. I would ensure I deal with you to the latter. I was a gang leader age 12, nick name was Bossman, my mum gave me that nickname and till date I don’t know why she did. I lost all sense of vision, purpose nor direction, drive and passion for success before I even turn age 8.

 

My dad was later transferred to Lagos and my younger sister and I moved in with him, it was in Lagos I started going to church, then I was in SS 2, age 18 or 19. I was in school but school has been out of me since JSS1 but nobody knew why, not even I. I later accepted Christ, believing doing that will take away my struggle with sex and no (low) self-esteem but it didn’t I didn’t know why. Because of my new believe of sex as a Christian I started masturbating since sleeping with someone you are not married to is sin. I started masturbated at age 19 (2006). I prayed all manner of prayers and fasting but it never left. I was too ashamed to discuss my struggle with any soul because I don’t want to be judged an secondly I was already assuming leadership role in the church. I still remember one of those days I couldn’t keep it all together so I had to visit Phase 2 brothel and had my first and only encounter with a prostitute. I left there with regrets, guilt and inner condemnation.

 

Before my encounter with Uncommon Man Network I certainly was tired of life but I never look it, looking at me from the outside you would never notice. My first encounter with Uncommon Man Network was in 2009, I was invited by a friend in the church I was attending to attend the Sex2Sex Summit that was held in LTV, Alausa. At the summit I knew this was a place I must dwell. Uncommon Man Network helped me to discover Purpose, I learnt what goal setting is, what it means to have a vision, who I am, who the opposite sex is and how to treat them. UMN gave me a new voice and gave my life a meaning. It was at the network I knew what abuse was and it’s effect and how to break free from the addiction to sex. I would have died and gone, because at a point I wanted to take my own life but the hope I received in my time with Uncommon Man Network kept me on. I am not saying my liberation from my past happened instantly but with time I broke out of it.

 

There is no me without Uncommon Man Network.

 

Thank you Daddy Praise and Mrs Florence Karl Ogwu.